November

Sometimes, I can't handle the cold
Ill break another heart too fragile to hold 
Love dies, I'm standing alone 
Painting false hopes is a habit I've grown 
Come find, why I said I don't love you 
And instead I was humbled and content with the struggle
That you gave me, and said that I was crazy 
Words grew to chains and love became safety 
I saw trust until I lost the view...
And then I lost faith in us like I always do
I refused, to complement your weakness 
Through all our ups and downs til I was sea-sick
Flashbacks I remember so well, we both held
In November, when the snow fell 
But that changed, you were not a friend to me 
I distorted and soon I lost identity 
And when we fought it I tried to break the innocence
You said lies, and I became a hypocrite 
You tried to hold the sadness when you grabbed tight 
But I moved on from the shadows of our past life
You said you couldn't live if I ran away 
But part of me died, anyway, when I had to stay 
In a storm that I saw in groundview
And I couldn't find the I, it was all about you 

Year One: I felt the dear sun a brand new hope before the tears come 
Year two: I see In clear view ashamed of myself when I am near you 
Year three: I watch the stars fade Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache 
Year four: You're forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade 

All the feelings I have are hard to word 
I can't see the problem, my vision starts to blur, into an image of a violent struggle
Of a slow suicide since the time I loved you 
Id, gladly die if you'd pacify 
But you need too many things that I can't provide, so
You looked for it inside another's arms 
Lied through ya teeth and cried that nothings wrong
It didn't stop all the cryin in public
Or telling me I'm not the only guy you were fucking but I gave in to all my fears instead
The only thing that ran more than me were the tears you shed
When you told me you cut inside ya flesh
You're depressed and you'd rather die instead
I could feel my heart tear to bits
(The first time I've sincerely cried ever since my grandpa died) 
And I knew, there was no you and I
I kissed you goodbye, it felt like suicide 
Ob a bond that was made to sever 
When I turned my back on you and wouldn't face the weather 
And for a moment, it felt like nothing mattered
There's givers and there's takers, and you're just the latter 
I needed help but I got a struggle
When I fell to pieces you couldn't solve the puzzle 
We wept in puddles til we were lost at sea
With regretful struggles and a faded promise ring

Your hands were full cause you seemed to hold grudges 
While I chased both of our dreams through rosebushes, in November 

I couldn't think to hold a single hope
So I pressed on my luck until my fingers broke
I'm treading steps through quicksand of past love to find closure from ice shoulders and hands touch
And my mind is still plagued with the fragrances of pain and bliss, and all the things you made me grip
When Id watch ya face with teary eyes
And I had to hurt myself so I could feel alive, but I found a place where the weather is much better now, in greener pastures, where the rain is never out
And your face is replaced by another.
November's leaves stay, but have changed for the summer 
and my hope meddles where I go settle
In the line that blurs from love to rose petals and the silence hurt, so I just followed through
On a beaten street, never reaching peaks which I saw in you 
And now I see that you just took me for granted
Had a diamond in the rough and you still took me for granite 
So i'd turn my back, on things I thought matter
Lamenting in the sins and the halos that had shattered
In November we gazed at sea scapes
With each wave, symbolizing things that we'd make
Love and war we were born as keepsakes
To underscore loves accord when peace breaks, In November