Alterating

I feel like I'm alterating the order
of how things are supposed to be
to be is to want
to want is to achieve
to achive is to goal
i alterated my goal

i may not be perfect nor a total wreck
but one thing im sure, im a deserve so much more
there's no easy way to go back to basics
there's no easy way to say what i feel

how i feel, feel about you.
We walked to fast and left time behind.
now i regret the time we let go by
"let it grow" u say
"it's ok" i say
but as we reach the melancholic point of the month
is where i say i've alterated the order

How can i say it? how to express it!?
i want a separate way, a diferent way to live
i've been free cuz from where i am i can fly, i just need to get off the floor
this point is where the silence becomes sound.
The sound of a heart crushing slowly untill it bleeds

but don't call me coward, don't call me dumb
i wont look at you, i wont
i don't want.
Because my biggest alterating mistake is you